I love my babies more than anything in this world. I would do anything for them but unfortunately monsters live among us and now I cant see MY own children for a year. I’m being alienated and it’s the worst thing to ever happen to me especially from “family” who was supposed to help me until I could get back on my feet but they’ve done the opposite. I will take this year to be the best mom I can be from afar and when I get them back we will never talk to them ever again and we will be happy. You will know mama always did what she thought was best ☹❤

This is hard. Hard because you have been thinking of how much fun it would be when you have children. How much fun it will be to watch your babies grow up ,to see them get married,have children, celebrate their sweet 16, graduate high school and college.. But In an instant it was all taken from me. A monster took all my hopes and dreams away. What kind of monster hits my babies… a monster who’s a natural born narcissist. My baby girls are my lifeline and sometimes it feels like I’m alone in all this… All anyone ever says is “fight harder” … how can you fight harder when all you have done for the past year is fight. I’m tired of fighting and it not doing anything. I miss my babies,I miss them coming into my bed in the middle of the night just to cuddle with their mama. Some days I feel like I’m all alone and my world is just going to forever be dark and empty.. But,I feel this can only go up from here.

There is nothing more challenging than being a mom of two young girls. They will challenge you,push your buttons, and some days will make you want to pull your hair out. But, at the end of the day you will wonder what you ever did before them. Being a mom of girls is the best thing to ever happen to me. They have became my saving grace,my reason for living. They are also the reason I’m here today. I wouldn’t know what to do other than being a mom. Since I was a little girl being a mom was all I ever wanted to do and it’s the best gift I’ve ever been given.

A mother and daughter always share a special bond, which is engraved in their hearts 💕

It was March 2019 and unknown to me today would be the day my world would never be normal again. As I watch Texas CPS take you away right in front of my eyes without even letting you take your favorite doll or your favorite blanket. Today was the day my life ended and my heart broke. It would become the most challenging year ever known to me. The year I spent most nights crying holding your picture close to my heart so I could sleep soundly,the nights I didn’t think I would make it through to see the morning come because the ache was so painful I didn’t want to see another day. The year I thought just ending it would ease the pain and let you have a better life,that you deserved a better life,a life I couldn’t make happen in my world since I spent countless nights going from couch to couch because I left the monster after you left in that car right in front of my eyes. It hasn’t gotten better but the pain has gotten easier. I will always be your mama and when your older I will tell you how I did my hardest to be there and protect you even when the monsters didn’t let me or want me in your life. You are my lifeline forever 💋

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Thanks for joining me! Welcome to my life. The good,the bad,the ugly.. 💋

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton